The Journey Begins AGAIN…

This is the question that haunts my quiet moments. Because I am 82, long retired and recently widowed, I am often unsure (after a long productive career) just what I need to “do” now?

It is to myself that I ask the “Who am I” question. I know that someone else’s answer is entirely theirs.

I’m really not burning with this “Who am I” question. But there IS a hole in my life. I have spent 62 years of my life partnered. With that much time spent compromising, learning and being surprised when something I didn’t know comes into conversation, expecting company when I go anywhere, expecting a warm arm around my shoulders in church, loving the hand that reaches for mine at odd times, reveling in the warmth of a body beside me while I fall asleep.

I loved starting the day with someone else in the house, all the waking up noises that I could hear, including the whistling and low humming of a favorite hymn.

I’m missing all these things, but I have reached that time in mourning to know that the “missing” things are gone!

That’s when I come back to: “Who am I NOW.”